


Drink You Pretty

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon, Drama, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Points of View, Romance, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-07-30
Updated: 2006-01-02
Packaged: 2018-12-27 10:57:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12079683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Alternate Universe. Brian sees Justin.  Brian wants Justin.  Briancan'thave Justin according to Debbie because of a certain problem.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Inside out and outside in  
you bring eyesight to the blind.  
Crying is a crime  
 **Eyesight to the Blind – Placebo**

___________________________________________________

**B.K**   


“Who’s _that_?”

 

I look over in the direction Emmett’s looking, quite appreciatively I might add, and my eyes zero in on the boy under the microscope of Emmett’s eyes. And, fuck, he’s under my microscope now. Smooth, shaggy blonde hair, bright blue eyes that someone – Someone that let’s themselves get caught up in that romantic shit. Someone that’s a fucking lesbian. Someone that’s not **me**. – could drown in, perfect pink lips just begging to be kissed – preferably by _me_ and not Emmett or anyone else – and, something I readily notice, the most fuckable ass I’ve seen all day. One of the most fuckable asses I’ve seen in general. This blonde is automatically on the top of my ‘Gorgeous Men to Fuck’ list.

“Don’t even _think_ about it, asshole.”

Suddenly Debbie’s standing right there. Right in my view of the new kid she’s hired to clean up tables after the customers have left. I scowl up at her with a raised eyebrow. “Since when do _you_ tell me who I can fuck? Much less _think_ about fucking?” The woman crossed her arms over her chest, colorful plastic bracelets dangling noisily in my face. I think I hear Michael snort next to me. I glare over at him but he only shrugs and quickly shoves his hamburger into his mouth. I raise an eyebrow back at Debbie who’s shooting me a ‘don’t get smart with me, asshole’ look. Hmm – I seem to get that look from her a lot. “You don’t get it. He’s different.”

I crane my head to look around her slightly large form then back at her with a smirk.

“Yeah, he’s a lot hotter then most of the men I know.”

“Brian,”

She points a finger in my face.

“Stay away. That’s _not_ what I meant.”

Obviously. I yawn just to show her how bored I am of her authority and take a sip of my water. I’m used to the woman bugging me about things but never things like who I fuck or look at. So, even though I’m slightly doubtful, there must be something about this blonde that’s making her want to protect him from me. Though, I don’t see why anyone would want protection from me. I mean, as soon as he gets a look at me he’s going to ditch Debbie and all her bullshit about me and run into my arms and let me fuck him into total oblivion. “Then, Deb, do tell me what you meant because I’m sort of lost.” I keep my voice cool and sarcastic. It always tends to get on her nerves.

“For one, he’s seventeen.”

“Six years apart. Not _too_ bad.”

She ignores me. As usual.

“And he’s…well, he can’t exactly _see_ you.”

What the fuck is she talking about? “Debbie, in case you haven’t noticed it’s hard, almost damn near impossible, to not be able to see me. What the fuck are you going on about?” The woman rolls her eyes but I know she’s used to my ‘Self involved’, egoistic nature. Everyone is. She shakes her head and sits down next to Emmett and across from me, fingers tapping on the table. I wish she would hurry up and get on with whatever she’s talking about because I have to leave soon. I have a meeting in forty minutes and Cynthia will rip my balls off if I’m late. I give Debbie a ‘Hurry the fuck up’ stare and, finally, she opens her loud mouth to speak. Except, she’s being oddly quiet right now.

“Sunshine’s,”

I snort.

“Sunshine?”

“That’s his nickname.”

I guess I can see why. I nod as if to tell her to go on. She does.

“Anyway, Sunshine, well, he was in an accident a few years ago…he won’t tell me what happened but the accident left a major injury,”

I smirk.

“What? Did he lose the use of his cock?”

She ignores me for the most part. She only sends me a glare and continues.

“He’s blind.”

Oh. That could present sort of a problem.

___________________________________________________

**J.T**   


People never believe me when I tell them that I’m blind. I don’t know if it’s because I get around just as easily as a person who can see or if it’s cause I don’t _look_ like I’m blind. What I mean by that is my eyes, they look normal. They aren’t unfocused, I can pinpoint where a sound is coming from immediately and stare directly at the person who is speaking to me and they aren’t any abnormal color like some people’s eyes are, I guess. There is one thing, though, that does kind of help me with getting around.

I can’t see exactly but I can see outlines of people, animals, objects and buildings. I mean, the outlines aren’t distinct – like I could never read a sign or anything like that. Someone would have to do that for me – but I can make out if a person is taller or shorter then me, most of the time they’re taller then me, and I can see where I’m going for the most part. I really do miss actually seeing though. Seeing colors mostly. I’m an artist and I can actually see my art. Sure, I can see it in my head and I know that’s what it looks like but I would love to actually _physically_ see it again.

Of course, that can never happen.

The accident happened five years ago. I had only been twelve. People tell me that twelve-year-olds should never have to go through horrible accidents. Honestly, I don’t remember what happened. All I do know about the accident was that my mother and father – for once he was actually around – and I were driving somewhere, I can’t remember where, and we got in a wreck. I had blacked out, was bloodied and bruised everywhere. If it hadn’t been for my seatbelt I might’ve died. Ever since then I’ve dedicated my life to telling people that seatbelts really do save lives. No, not really, but I don’t ever not put mine on. That’s for sure.

So, I woke up in the hospital three days later only to be greeted by darkness. At first I had thought I _was_ dead. It had never occurred to me that I could’ve become blind. Not me. There was no way I could be blind. People made fun of me enough as it is. I’m hadn’t been the type of kid to go outside into the hot sun and play sports and do the things the other boys at school did. They got a real kick out of pointing that out every time I was within earshot. Now, they were going to have a fabulous time making fun of my disability. Anyway, me being blind had never popped up into my mind. Until a nice, female nurse told me that it was ok and to relax.

Then she told me I was blind.

…And she wanted me to _fucking relax_?

Yeah. Fucking. Right.

I don’t think I spoke to anyone or came out of my room for weeks after I got out of the hospital. My mom would come up to my room every day to bring me my food and try and talk me into coming out and doing something. Like what? Watch a movie? Yeah, more like _hear_ a movie. After I got over the angst stage, months and months later, I began training myself to use my hearing to get around. That’s when I realized that I could see the outlines of people, which boosted my mood way, way up. I could still see somewhat. When my mom asked me if I wanted one of those long black sticks that blind people used to get themselves around I immediately refused.

My father acted all proud of me for refusing the stick.

Probably because he thought I was doing to act all “macho” and everything.

Bull. Shit. Honestly, what a stupid reason. I was quick not to tell him the real reason for my lack of appreciation for the walking stick. I’d rather just let him think he knows what the hell he’s thinking about. Soon it had gotten easier. Being blind, that is. I even had better hearing, which was an obvious. The only low about that was I could hear the other kids making fun of me _a lot_ easier. It was like they got off on that type of thing: making fun of the “Special Kids” as they liked to say. I soon got over being mad at them. It was really a waste of my time because, well, their opinion meant _nothing_ to me. Now, five years later, I don’t listen to anyone’s bullshit anymore.

Unless it’s something nice.

Like Debbie. She’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. I was surprised when she acted like it was nothing that I was blind when I had asked her if there were any jobs available. I was in major need of a job. The reason: To get out of the house and away from my fucking father. Craig Taylor, an efficient business man, used every moment that he could to shove girls in my face. Date her, or her, or, oh my god, her! I wonder if he told any of them I was blind before shoving them at me. Probably not. I gladly told all of them that I was blind – _and_ not interested. It worked like a charm. They hightailed it out of there and, of course, dad knew it was all because of my lack of **charm** with the ladies.

So, yeah, I was extremely grateful when Debbie gave me the job. Even if it was just picking up after people. I’d take anything I could get. If only my dad _knew_ where I was working. He’d have a fucking cow. Good thing he and my mom had filed for divorce – Well, he _had_ been a lying and cheating prick – and he lived in New York. Somewhere where I didn’t have to see him everyday, tell him about my whereabouts or my sexual preference, somewhere where I wouldn’t have to listen to him criticize me. Things were looking up for me slightly. My mother would be easier to handle. Especially since she knew about me being gay and all. Thankfully, she treated me normally and not like a disease.

So now here I am. Working at ‘The Liberty Diner’ with the best person I could be working with.

Kiki is nice too. One of the nicest transsexuals I have ever met. 

…The **only** one I’ve met.

“How ya’ doin’, Sunshine?”

I smile bright at her despite the fact I’m picking up nasty, dirty plates off one of the diners many tables. I guess that’s how I earned my nickname. Sunshine. I liked it. I can see her outline. Slightly large but not too large and, I think, she has curly hair. If I’m seeing correctly. I hold the bucket that I put the dirty dishes in against my hip and shrug. “Great. I got some tips today. I guess I pick up dirty dishes really well.” Yeah. Right. I’m not blind enough to know that I don’t have a great ass and to know that I’m gorgeous. People have _never_ missed an opportunity to tell me so. Debbie laughs her loud, infectious laugh. I love her laugh.

“Yeah, I bet that’s why, Sunshine.”

I continue to grin and nod.

“Your shifts over in ten minutes.”

I nod and carefully walk around the counter to walk into the kitchen where I hand Joe the dishes for him to clean. He quickly hands me a wet towel to go wipe down the tables. It’s amazing how much, after only five days on the job, these people…trust me with my job. I guess I proved to them that I can do everything independently just perfectly. Sighing to myself, I walk over to the closest table. I’ve pretty much memorized where all the tables, cracks in the floor, any objects on the floor, are so I can move around easily. Avoiding things so I don’t kill myself or, to be less dramatic, hurt myself.

I start my duty.

Swipin’ the tables.

While I’m busy, wiping the tables is _tedious_ work, someone clears their throat from behind me. Smile automatically jumping onto my face, I spin around. It’s a man. I could tell by the noise of his throat. He’s also, no surprise here, taller then I am. Way taller then I am. “Uh...yes?” Why would anyone come up to me? It was probably just someone who needed something. I guess they don’t realize I’m not exactly the one who gets people’s orders.

___________________________________________________

**B.K**   


I know Debbie told me to stay away from him but, come on now, how can anyone gay man _do_ that? Is Debbie out of her mind? I’ve often wondered. All I knew was that I had, it was mandatory, to get to know this blonde. I don’t usually ‘get to know’ the men/boys I want to fuck but I think I feel slightly… _sorry_ for him since he’s blind. Or maybe I just feel that would be wrong to treat him like one of my many tricks since he’s blind. Debbie would kill me if I did that anyway. It’s obvious that she loves ‘Sunshine’ like he’s one of her sons. I wonder how Michael feels about _that_. He probably hasn’t caught on yet.

So I walk up to him.

And got a nice view of him bending over while wiping down one of the tables. Images of fucking him like this flew into my mind full force. I would by lying to say that they _didn’t_. I can’t believe this boy hasn’t been molested already. I might have to be the one to do that. So, anyway, I walk over and try to ignore the way I could just “accidentally” bump into his ass, and clear my throat. I. Must. Be. Polite. He’s different. He’s not like one of the sex lookin’, sex crazy, whores in the backroom of Babylon. He’s an innocent minor who’s going to want me. Like everyone else does. I wish he could see me though. I’m fucking gorgeous after all.

“Um…yes?”

He’s smiling. My first thought is: Wow. Beautif- Then I cut it off. My second thought is – Wow. He has really white teeth. And those lips are just calling my name. “Is ‘Sunshine’ your _real_ name?” Debbie hadn’t told me when I had asked her after her little ‘Avoid the blind kid’ speech. She hadn’t told me because she desperately wanted me to leave him alone. Honestly. How much damage could I do? Even if I did end up fucking him, which it wasn’t pretty likely that that would be happening, what would be the big deal? We would both go our separate ways. Satisfied. Moving on. His grin becomes slightly wider and the rag he’s holding is set on the table and he holds on his dry hand.

“Justin Taylor.”

I immediately take his hand; small, warm and soft in mine.

Like a perfect fit except I **do not** think that.

I’m Brian Kinney for fucks sake.

“Brian Kinney.”

“I’m blind.”

He says it with a slightly odd look on his face. He says it as if he wants, needs, to make sure I know. As if it’ll change everything that’s happening right now. I smile, although he can’t see it, and nod. “Yeah, so I’ve heard. Debbie was quick to tell me.” I’m sure he doesn’t know why and he doesn’t ask. He only offers me a slightly startled look and the nods. His smile falls back into place and he twists his hands nervously in front of his stomach. “Oh…what do you look like? I like to know what the people look like I’m talking about.” He quickly explains, cheeks turning slightly pink. I smirk, silent for a moment. I’m just about to open my mouth to answer him when Debbie stampedes over here and grabs me by my arm.

“What the fuck did I tell you, asshole?”

I blink. Goddamn her and her interruption tendencies.

Justin jumps slightly at the suddenly yell of Debbie’s voice then looks at the two of us oddly. I glare over at the women. “I’m only _talking_ to him. And, I’m being very polite.” I watch, slightly amused, as Justin furiously nods in agreement. “Don’t worry, Deb. He’s great. Not like, well the guys I told you about.” Curiosity immediately fills my system. I must know. Debbie looks at me wearily. She knows and I know that she can’t keep me away from him if I want him and she can’t make Justin not talk to me. The boy can make his own decisions all by himself after all. 

“Fine, but your shift is over in five minutes.”

She sends one last glare at me before stalking off to take the orders of a group of rowdy teenagers. Most of them are groping one of the other people in the group. Debbie telling them to keep their hands to themselves in that threatening manner of her works. I turn back to the blonde who picked his towel up again and started moving to the next table. I move in step next to him. “Still want to know if I’m ugly or not?” He smiles slightly and looks back up me. “Sure, **but** , when I’m done working. You can take me somewhere, buy me something to drink, and you can tell me.” I raise an eyebrow. Awfully demanding for a blind kid.

“Even though you don’t know if I’m horrid looking?”

“Your voice isn’t horrid. You can’t be _too_ bad.”

“You haven’t heard me sing.”

He laughs as he begins wiping the table again. I peer down at the table that’s getting clean despite the fact that he can’t see it. “How can you tell if the table’s clean or not?” He’s silent for a moment. “Is it?” I quickly nod. Shit. I keep forgetting he can’t fucking see. “Yeah, perfect.” He grins. “I know because I haven’t gotten any complaints yet. Now _leave me alone_ so I can finish my job.” I take a few steps away, look down at my watch, and back over at him. “Fine, fine. But, in two in a half minutes I’ll be back to continue annoying the hell out of you.” He nods, still smiling.

“I’ll be looking forward to it.”

Yeah, me too.


	2. Drink You Pretty

Looking for love is a danger zone  
Love don't go begging in the danger zone  
You won't get nothing from the danger zone  
 **Danger Zone - Rainbow**  
__________________________________

**B.K**   


“I don’t know what you think you’re doing,”

As soon as I left Justin to resume his table cleaning duties, Debbie decided to corner me, grab me by the back of my neck, and fling the both of us into a booth located as far away from Justin as we could get. I raise an eyebrow up at her, although I know exactly why she’s brought me here. She wants to ream me out for “conversing” with her blind employee. She acts as if I’ve done something illegal. I yawn and drag my finger along the clean surface of the table. I try to act as bored as possible.

“What, exactly, am I _doing_ , Deb?”

“I told you to leave. Him. Alone. And look at ya’! You act as if you didn’t listen to a work I said. Listen to me, you shit, don’t fuck him. I could care or less if you go fuck some meaningless trick but you will not, and listen closely, Kinney, you will not fuck him. It doesn’t have to do with the fact that he’s only seventeen as much as it has to do with the fact that I don’t want him gettin’ hurt. Incase you haven’t realized, he’s not aware of your ‘no-repeats’, ‘I don’t believe in love – I believe in fucking’, one night stand tendencies. I will not allow you to go and break his heart or take advantage of him.”

She takes a deep breath. I would have had to too if I had just delivered a speech as long as that and as passionately as she had. I’m quiet for a moment. As much as I hate to admit it, she’s fucking right. I also know that if I do “break his heart” as she put it, she’ll castrate me with her bare hands. I sigh and rest my chin on the palm of my hand. “What makes you think that, if I fuck him, he’ll stick around? That he’ll fall in love with me? That’ll he’ll think we’re “ _something_ ”?” Honestly, the kid is, well, a kid. Don’t kids want to fool around? Have a good time with as many people as they possibly can. Maybe that’s just me. I don’t know. Debbie frowns at me.

“He’s seventeen. When’s the last time you fucked a seventeen-year-old _virgin_?”

She got me. Again. 

“…Never.”

“Yeah, and it better _stay_ that way.”

Since when is she so goddamn protective? She isn’t even this protective over her own son. I wonder if it has something to do with the fact that Justin’s blind. That’s very likely. I sigh and wave her off with my hand. “Fine, fine. I won’t fuck him but I will hit on him, grope him, and talk to him whenever I want to.” The large woman glares at me, picks herself up from the table and huffs away. I smirk after her and then, with a glance in Justin’s direction – he’s taking off his white apron at the moment and hanging it up behind the counter – I get up from the table and make my way over to where he stands. The counter being the only thing separating us.

“Ready?”

“You were _serious_?”

He looks…surprised as he says it.

“Yeah, weren’t you?”

“Y-yes, but I didn’t know _you_ were.”

I grin and lean on the counter, my elbows support my weight. “Why wouldn’t I be serious? It isn’t _everyday_ that I buy blind kids coffee.” He rolls his eyes at me and crosses his arms over his chest. “Where are you taking me?” Like I’ve even though about that. I shrug and, of course, he doesn’t see it. “I don’t know.” He smiles and nods, voice sarcastic when he speaks. “Well, this is _bound_ to be fun then.” I chuckle, feeling Debbie’s eyes burn holes into my back. I lift myself up off the counter and wait for Justin to walk around and towards me. “I guess it’ll be a surprise.”

“ _Everything’s_ a surprise when you’re blind.”

“Maybe so but,” I reach out to grab his wrist. “You’ll still come with me despite the fact I don’t know where we’re going yet?” He doesn’t pull his wrist out of my hand so I slide my hand from his wrist and to his hand. I can only imagine what Debbie is thinking right now. _‘Why the fuck is Brian fucking Kinney holding someone’s hand?’ ‘Dammit – am I seeing things?’_ or _‘He better get his fucking hands off of him_.’ He looks at me for a moment, as if deciding on whether or not to go with me since, I guess, holding his hand just changed everything he was thinking, and then he nods.

“Yeah. Sure. Let me just get my coat…”

I had forgotten that it was fucking below zero outside. The fucking _joys_ of the Christmas season. I quickly let go of his hand as he walks back around the counter, walks over to a lone chair, and grabs the black jacket on top of it. I watch as he moves, jacket slipping onto his torso, as normally and probably even more gracefully then any person that I know who can see. I could probably watch him all day. Not that I would. Brian Kinney doesn’t watch hot blondes. No, he touches – fucks – hot blondes. Too bad he’s off limits. I inwardly sigh at the thought. What Debbie doesn’t know won’t hurt her. Then again, Justin probably wouldn’t be able to keep his mouth shut. Plus, do I really want some kid falling in love with me?

**No**. That’s not on my agenda.

“I’m ready.”

I don’t realize he’s in front of me until he speaks. It’s a good thing he can’t see or he would’ve seen how gone I was into my own little world where no one falls in love with anyone. After all, love is a…stupid thing. Do people really, actually, _truly_ fall in love with someone? If my father really and truly loved my mother and if my parents truly loved me then I don’t want any part in the subject called ‘love.’ Beating your wife and children – if that’s love then…love can go straight to hell. I nod. Fuck. I keep forgetting he can’t see me. “It’s about time.” He grins and shoves me lightly in the shoulder. “Now, now, Sunshine, no need to be so violent. I was only kidding.”

“Have you figured out where you’re taking me yet? Or are you planning on dragging me around Pittsburgh _all afternoon_ so I can freeze my fucking balls off?”

I laugh as the two of us walk out the door and into the shivering Christmas afternoon. There are Christmas decorations everywhere. For once, on Liberty Avenue, there are more un-rainbow colored decorations up then the usual rainbow flags, banners and whatnot up. “You know, anyone else would be dying to be in your position right now.” He’s silent for a moment and I listen to the silent crunching of our feet as I take him to the nearest coffee shop. “You’re _that_ good looking?” I grin over at him as I stuff my hands deeper in my pockets to keep from reaching out and grabbing his hand or touching his hair. His hair looks so…I shake my head and tell my brain to shut the fuck up.

“I’m fucking gorgeous.”

“Egoistic much?”

I laugh and “accidentally” bump shoulders with him.

“No, and, just so you know, _you’re_ fucking gorgeous.”

I watch his face closely. At first he doesn’t express anything about what I said. Then his cheeks begin to slowly turn a slightly dark shade of pink. A pink that wasn’t from the cold temperature from the weather. “T-thank you.” I grin, amused at how timid and shy he sounds. “My _pleasure_.” His cheeks go slightly darker and, I’m damned for eternity for even thinking this, he looks impossibly cute. Anyone would think so with his flushed cheeks, his hair sprinkled with snowflakes, a rainbow scarf wrapped comfortably around his neck and that little smile on his face that I can’t read.

“You still haven’t told me what you look like, except that you’re gorgeous. I don’t really know what gorgeous means. So, _do_ explain.”

I stay silent for a moment. Isn’t this going to sound ridiculous? Me telling him what I look like. It’s going to sound like one of those ads for online dating services. I clear my throat. Oh well. I might as well get it over with or he’s going to think I’m ugly since I’ve hesitated so long. “Ok. I’m tall, taller then you,” He snorts. “I have brown hair, hazel eyes that are to die for,” He laughs and shakes his head. “A _gorgeous_ body, great facial structure, and I like long romantic walks on the beach to end the evening.” He laughs, smiling his gorgeous smile up at me, and, this time, he bumps his shoulder into mine.

Accident, I’m sure.

“Can I touch you?”

I blink. Did I hear correctly? “W-what?” His cheeks turned a deep shade of scarlet and he quickly shakes his head, his walking coming to a halt and biting his bottom lip. “No, I mean, that’s my way of _seeing_ what you look like. I didn’t mean it…s-sexually or anything like that.” That’s too bad. My cock was getting excited. Maybe he would want to see what the rest of me looked like too. I _did_ say I had a gorgeous body after all. I grin and face him, shoulders shrugging. “Touch away.” He smiles slightly and I stand there waiting. I quickly wonder if we should wait until we get into the warmth of the coffee shop that’s just a few minutes away before my dick freezes off but I decide against it. 

He raises his hands, I wonder why the hell he isn’t wearing gloves, and they connect with my chest first. A chant runs through my head: ‘ _Not sexual. Not sexual. Stupid cock. You never listen. Not sexual. Not sexual_.’ His hands are slow as they make their way to my bare neck, I’m glad I hate scarves, and his skin connects with my bare skin, which goes straight to my overactive cock. His hands are very warm too, soft and warm, as they brush across my throat and move upwards towards my face. I wonder what people passing by think of this scene. I think it’s sort of erotic in a way. It’s definitely doing a spectacular job of turning me on. I try not to breathe as his fingers dance across my skin.

Hands flat on my cheeks, thumbs brushing over my chin, which does nothing to help me at all, his fingers run along my mouth. Gently running across my lips. I wonder if he does this to _all_ the men he meets. His fingers travel over my eyes for a split second and I quickly close them. I wonder if he’s almost done. I’m slightly put out when his hands lift off my face and drop back down at his sides. I’m pleased to see he looks oddly flushed and a little embarrassed. I grin, trying to erase the feeling of his gentle strokes along my face out of my mind. “So? Am I sexy or what?” He smiles. He also looks slightly relieved that I didn’t make a comment about the whole touching thing.

He doesn’t reply, only smiles. I push on.

“What? Do you need to do a _deeper examination_?”

His eyes widen slightly and then he realizes I’m joking – or am I? – and a smile breaks out onto his face. “ _No_. I’ll admit you’re…” I answer for him. “Stunning? Gorgeous? Striking?” He, surprisingly, shakes his head and smiles shyly up at me. “Beautiful.” Beautiful. I’ve never really been called beautiful before, at least, not to my face, and I don’t exactly mind it. Especially since he looks so… _something_ saying it. I smile and I’m glad he can’t see or he’d see how…softly I was smiling at him and that wouldn’t be something I want him to see. “That too.” He rolls his eyes over at me and swats me again with his hand. This time I reach out and grab it in mine.

“Follow me, Mr. Taylor. The coffee shop awaits.”

“Finally, somewhere warm.”

I look down at him as we step inside the warm threshold of a coffee shop that I’ve never been to before. I usually get all my coffee at ‘The Liberty Diner’ but, for obvious reasons, Justin and I couldn’t converse there. Not with Debbie lurking over our shoulders to make sure I didn’t fuck him right there on the table that he had just cleaned. Hand still wrapped around his, I lead him over to a table in the far corner. I don’t really want to but I let go of his hand to slide in to the booth. He slides into the seat across from mine. The booths here are set up a lot like the ones at ‘The Liberty Diner’. “So, what do you want?” He smiles at me from across the table, hands moving up to remove the scarf since the heater was on, and thinks for a second.

“Hot chocolate.”

I smirk. How am not surprised? “Alright. I’ll be right back.” I get up from the booth and up to the counter where a girl stands looking incredibly bored. It’s obvious the place doesn’t get much business. I offer her a quick smile, eyes reading her nametag real quick (Daphne) and quickly order two hot chocolates. “Thanks.” She sighs. “No problem.” I take the two hot Styrofoam cups after paying for them back over to our table where Justin’s quietly sitting, staring at his hands. Well, not really staring but his gaze his directed at his hands. “Here.” I set it down in front of him, his hand slowly slides across the table to look for it without knocking it over and then his fingers curl around the cup. I don’t think about what else they could be curling around right now.

“Thank you.”

“No problem.”

Silence. It’s not exactly awkward silence. Plus, he’s taking a careful sip of his hot chocolate at the moment anyway so it’s not like he can speak anyway. I carefully twirl my cup in my fingers studying the blonde sitting across from me. “I have a question.” He looks in my direction, his head tilts slightly to the side. I wish he wouldn’t do that. It’s hot, his hair falling in his face like that. I wonder if he even knows what he’s doing. “What?” I think back to the short conversation between him and Debbie back at the diner, when she had come up to me while I had been asking him to come with me after his shift was over. “ _Don’t worry, Deb. He’s great. Not like, well the guys I told you about_.” That’s what he said to her.

I had become extremely curious. I still am.

“What did you mean when we were talking to Debbie earlier? About how I’m not like the guys that you told her about?”

Justin rolled his eyes.

“Oh, nothing. There’s just these group of guys I know who like to trip me and push me down the stairs. They think it’s fun, that’s all.”

My eyes widen slightly.

“That’s _all_? You could seriously get hurt. Falling down the stairs isn’t exactly a safe sport to engage in, Sunshine. Who else have you told about this?”

“…Just you and Debbie.”

I sigh and slide down into my seat. My foot hits his and this time it is accidental. I quickly mutter a ‘sorry’ so he doesn’t think it was on purpose and tap my fingers on the surface of the table. “Who does it?” The blonde quickly shakes his head, shoulders shrugging. “Oh, no one…I don’t know.” I smile and lean forward in my seat. “Tell me.” I hope I sound threatening enough. He shakes his head again. “It’s not important. Really. They don’t do it that often anymore anyway.” I lean forward some more. He senses the proximity change and, in turn, leans back.

“C’mon, Sunshine, tell me. I won’t do anything.” _Too much, anyway_. He rolls his eyes. “You’re such a liar.” I raise an eyebrow. “So are you. We’re even. Now spill.” He sighs. “It’s not anyone you know.” I grin. “So what’s the problem with telling me then? If I don’t know them then I don’t know where to find them.” The blonde sighs and I know I’ve won the round. That I’ve talked him into telling me. “Chris Hobbs, Cody something, and a few boys I don’t know the names of. Chris is the captain of the football team and Cody is just a…lackey I guess. I think they get off on torturing people with disabilities. So, since my mother freaked out when I came home everyday with a new set of bruises or scrapes she took me out of school and insisted that I do home schooling. So, now, I spend more time then I want to with my mom.”

I smile.

“I thought all gay boys wanted to hang out with their moms.”

He snorts. “Did _you_?”

“No. My mom was never around to begin with. Same with my dad. I was a lone ranger.”

“Are you serious? You didn’t have _anyone_?”

He actually sounds concerned for my well being. It was kind of swee- No. It was not sweet. It wasn’t anything. He was just concerned. That’s it. I chuckle and lean back comfortably into my seat. “I had Michael, he’s my best-friend, and Debbie too. I spent many nights at her house way back when. It’s no big deal, not having my parents around. It was better when they _weren’t_ around.”

Justin tilts his head to the side again. Fuck him.

“How come?”

“Let’s just say that my dad got off on becoming very hands on with his children when heavily intoxicated and my mom, well, she didn’t really give a shit.”

The blonde didn’t reply. He just sat there, looking slightly dumbstruck at my words. I shrug even though he can’t see me and take a long sip of my hot chocolate. The heat burning my throat but I don’t care. I shrug again. “Anyway, like I said, it’s no big deal.”

__________________________________

**J.T**   


I can’t believe he acts as if it’s nothing. His family being abusive and uncaring. Unloving. At least I had _one_ parent who cared about me. He didn’t have any. I wanted to reach out and touch him - hell, I’ve wanted to reach out and touch him since the first time I did when we were outside – and maybe comfort him. But his voice had taken on sort of a hard edge. It was more icy then before, harder, and uncomfortable. Angry too. It was a given that he still hadn’t exactly gotten over it. I don’t think anyone can get over something like that. Abuse – physical and emotional abuse. I’m surprised he isn’t fucked up now.

“I-I-but it is a big deal.”

It’s not my place to say though.

“I’m sorry.”

I listen as he shifts in his seat, as his fingers do something with his cup of hot liquid, and as he chuckles. It’s not a happy chuckle though. It’s cynical and unhappy. “So, what about your family?” I can tell by his voice that he’s eager to change the subject. I quickly give him a brief, or maybe not so brief since I talk forever, overview of my family. How my dad isn’t really a part of my life anymore and how my mom basically supports me in everything I do. I tell him about the accident. I don’t mind talking about it. It’s not a big deal. It was just an accident. He listens intently without muttering a single word the entire time I’m talking. I suddenly stop, feeling like I’ve talked way too much. “Sorry, I talk a lot.”

He laughs again. This time it’s amused and I’m relieved.

“I’ve noticed.”

I roll my eyes even though I know he’s joking.

“Though, I don’t mind.”

“What time is it?”

Pause.

“Four.”

Holy fuck. My shift ended at two. That means we’ve been here for three hours. “Are you fucking serious?” Another pause, a laugh. “Yeah, I am.” I quickly stand up out of the booth and suddenly his hand is around my wrist. “What’s wrong?” I smile and reach around for my scarf and hurry to wrap it around my neck again. “I promised my mom I’d be home by four-thirty. It takes like thirty minutes from the diner to get back to my house. Debbie’s supposed to drop me off.” I smile at him, prepared to thank him for the hot chocolate and the great conversation but he cuts me off. “I can drive you home.” I hesitate and then nod.

“Ok. Sure.”

The whole walk, this one is a lot quicker then the walk to the coffee shop, is silent. I’m too busy being really aware of Brian’s hand around mine again. I wonder if he’s holding my hand because he doesn’t want me to run in to something or if it’s because he just wants to touch me. I hope it’s because he just wants to touch me because, honestly, I really want him to continue holding my hand. Before I know it we’re at the diner and then Debbie’s suddenly there. “There ya are! I’ve been waitin’ for ya.” Brian immediately speaks up and tells her he’s giving me a ride home. “Actually, I need to talk to Justin before he goes anywhere. I called your mother and told her you’d be late.”

I sigh, slightly disappointed and turn to Brian.

“Well…thanks for the hot chocolate.”

“Anytime.”

“I had a great time.”

God, I sound so stupid. He doesn’t seem to mind.

“Me too.”

“I’ll see you…later.”

He let’s go of my hand and I listen as he walks away, further and further away.

“Sunshine, we need to talk.”

She doesn’t sound happy.


	3. Drink You Pretty

I saw an angel in blue jeans today  
It felt as she melted all my bitterness away

You always tried so hard   
To hide your wings behind your coat  
So let it be   
And let them free  
So you can hover low   
Above the ground  
 **Angel in Blue Jeans – Maroon 5**  
_______________________________________

**Justin**   


“Sunshine, we need to talk.”

She doesn’t sound happy.

She sounds the exact opposite. Worried, angry, unsure. I frown. I’m worried now. Worried about why she’s worried and what it has to do with me. Had I done something wrong? Had I talked too much when I had been on my shift? Had the tables not been clean enough? Was she firing me for doing something wrong? I twisted my hands nervously in front of me as I follow her inside the diner. The little bell jingles noisily over me and makes my nerves even more taut. So tight – almost to the breaking point. I did something wrong. I just know it. I go over my shift in my head.

I can’t find what I did wrong but I must’ve done _something_.

“Sit down, Sunshine.”

I swallow, nod, and do as she says. I slide into the booth and I hear her sit down across from me. Next I hear a loud sigh and I wish I could see her facial expression. I can tell what she’s feeling I just wish I could _see_ it to for once. I “look” down at my lap for a few seconds before looking up and “meeting her eyes”. “What’s wrong, Deb? Did I do something wrong?” She immediately brushes those fears away with a quick ‘No, it’s not you.” Then what the fuck am I doing here? What does she need to talk to me about? Maybe she just needs me to work another shift tonight. No, then why would she be angry or worried? Maybe she’s angry about something else and worried because someone’s sick… _No_. That’s not right.

Somehow I know it’s not.

“Then…what’s wrong?”

“Brian is what’s wrong.”

I frown again. What? Brian hadn’t seemed wrong to me…not in anyway, shape or form. He’s probably one of the nicest people I’ve ever talked to. I shake my head. “What? I thought he was very nice. He was-” She cuts me off with a noise that sounded like a snort mixed in with cynical laughter. I frowned even deeper. What the hell was going on? What was she _talking_ about? I just sit in my seat and don’t say another word and I won’t. Not until she says what she has to say.

“I don’t think you hanging out with Brian is a good idea.”

Whatever. I don’t see the problem with him.

I wait for her to go on.

“Brian’s not the kind of person you think he is. He isn’t nice, he isn’t a gentlemen, he isn’t lookin’ for a long term relationship, and he isn’t interested in you fillin’ the position of ‘Boyfriend’. Brian Kinney is only interested in one thing, Sunshine and that’s gettin’ into _your_ pants.”

“No he’s not!”

There’s no way that she’s serious. I can tell she is though. Her voice is hard. Icy. **Serious**. But, still, there’s no way that Brian would just take me out so he can fuck me. I shake my head refusing to believe her. Or maybe I just don’t want to believe her because Brian seemed so nice earlier and was so nice to me earlier. Maybe it’s because I can actually find myself _liking_ him. She sighs and her bracelets make a loud noise as she rests her arms on the table in front of her. “You don’t have to believe me but what I’m sayin’ is true. Brian’s a slut. Every night he goes to the backrooms of Babylon and fucks his brains out. He isn’t who you think he is.”

I just sit there. I don’t shake my head because what she’s saying _must_ be true. Why else would she be telling me this? She had always laughed other times when I told her something about some guy asking me out. Someone she knew. She had never really cared before. And now it was like…mother mode had kicked on and she was actually _serious_ about something for once. I try to fight the slightly sick feeling in the pit of my stomach away as I sit there. I listen to her sigh again. “I’m sorry, Sunshine. But that’s just how he is.” I shrug. I don’t think I’m ready to believe this yet. “Then why was he so nice to me? Why didn’t he just ask me if he could fuck me?”

She was silent for a moment.

“Because I’m _blind_?”

“I honestly don’t know…”

Oh, well, _gee_ , thanks. I decide that it must be because I’m blind. Because he feels sorry for me or something. I sigh and shrug again. I feel slightly stupid. Embarrassed for thinking he actually liked me. And not just the thought of getting into my pants. I shrug again. That’s all I can really do. “Just take me home.” She doesn’t say anything. She just gets up, grabs my arm, pulls me up and we walk out the door into the cold evening and she takes me home. I don’t answer my mom when she asks me how my day went. Instead, I just go straight up to my room and try to push Brian out of my mind.

_Try_ being the key word here.

_______________________________________

I don’t want to go to work this morning. I don’t want _him_ to show up and talk to me. What will I say? I know I need to listen to Debbie. After all, she knows him a lot more then I do. Do I tell him to fuck off or do I just ask him politely to stay away from me? Or do I just tell him flat out that I’m not interested in being one of his meaningless fucks? Or maybe I should just tell him all of the above and try to be polite about all of it. Fuck being polite – I’m really pissed that I fell for his sick twisted game yesterday. Then there’s the part of me that says if he was interested in **only** fucking you then he wouldn’t have been so nice to you. Maybe he actually liked you too.

Yeah right.

That’s just my stupid hoping side.

The _wrong_ side.

Groaning, I roll out of my bed and go through my morning routine. Brush teeth, shower, get dressed, eat a super quick breakfast, brush teeth again, and get driven by my mom to the diner. She asks me what’s wrong on the way there. I guess that means Debbie didn’t tell her about my “date” yesterday. Good. I really don’t want my mother to know about my stupidity. She’ll probably never let me go out in public again or something since she’ll be afraid some murderer will get me to go out with them. Yeah, she worries a lot like that. “Nothing’s wrong.” I can tell she doesn’t believe me. Hell, I don’t believe me even though I keep telling myself I never liked Brian in the first place. But…he _did_ grow on my rather quickly.

“A mother’s intuition always knows when there’s something wrong.”

“Yeah, well, your _intuition_ needs to be checked.”

She doesn’t reply. Probably because I had practically bitten her head off and she knows when she needs to leave me alone. “Have a good day, sweetie.” God, I hate it when she calls me that. Especially right now since I’m especially grumpy. “How many times have I told you to stop calling me that?” I hear her sigh and I realize I’m probably really getting on her nerves right about now. “You haven’t.” Yeah fucking right. I know I just asked her the other day. Or maybe I was just thinking it. Hell, I don’t know. “Well, _don’t_.” That said I slam the door before she can say anything else to me and practically stomp through the snow, on to the sidewalk and inside the toasty diner. I don’t say hello back to Debbie when she yells out her jubilant ‘hello’ and I tear my coat off and throw it on the usual chair I throw it on behind the counter.

“What’s up your ass, Sunshine?”

Don’t even start with me.

“Nothing. I’ve never _had_ anything up my ass before.”

Then she laughs. I am **not** in the mood.

“I’m being serious here.”

“Is this about yesterday?”

Wow. Her intellectual mind fucking astounds me. “ _No_. I’m not a morning person.” She snorts in disbelieve as I put on the stupid apron I have to wear. “Since when?” She has a point. Usually I’m all sunshine and fucking daisies. I shrug. “Since this morning.” She sighs but doesn’t press on. Good. I don’t have the time or the mood to deal with her right now. Plus, I don’t want to say the wrong thing and get fired or something. I can’t afford to lose this job since Debbie’s probably the only person who’ll hire me. Who else would hire a blind seventeen-year-old? Honestly.

So, I begin my shift.

I don’t get as many tips as I usually do. Probably because whenever someone so much as flirted with me I told them to fuck off. Yeah, not so good for business. And if someone went as far to touch any part of my body then…well…I wasn’t very friendly then either. So, I’m happy when lunch break finally rolls around and I have time for myself. Sighing, I quickly take off my stupid apron, grab my sketchbook that I left here yesterday, get some food, and head to the booth in the very back of the diner. I eat first. Quickly. Our lunch breaks aren’t exactly long and then I begin to draw. It’s not hard even though I’m blind. My mom says I’m gifted. Yeah, that’s just what I need. Her calling me gifted. 

It makes me feel retarded when she says it.

I ignore the sounds around me, Debbie’s loud obnoxious mouth, people talking to their friends while eating, and the ringing bells above the door that’s being open. Brian coming in doesn’t even occur to me until I can smell him and until someone’s sitting in front of me. Panic mode. Ok. What the hell do I say? I don’t look up at him; I concentrate on only moving my pencil across the sketchbook. Maybe he’ll go away if I don’t say anything to him. Most of me highly doubts that will happen. Especially if he’s determined and I’m pretty sure he’s a determined person. I hear him clear his throat. I still ignore him. Well, ignore him as much as one can ignore him. I bet if I had my sight it be damn near impossible to ignore him.

“Hey.”

Shit. Now he’s _talking_ to me. 

I decide to get straight to the point before I’m too scared to.

I look up and set my pencil down.

“Let’s get things straight.”

I can practically _hear_ his confusion. Yeah, I know it’s impossible but…I can somehow. He doesn’t say anything so I continue on, heart pounding in my ears.

“I’m not interested in being one of your…meaningless fucks. Incase you haven’t noticed, I’m not really the type to just…let strangers fuck me. I’m also not interested in you talking to me. Especially if that’s all your interested in. I mean I’m sure there are tons of _gorgeous_ blonds out there that are interested in one night stands. There’s also tons of guys out there who it would actually be _legal_ to fuck. Sorry, but I’m not in to anything _you’re_ into. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to work.”

Oh fuck. I can’t believe I just said that. I feel like such a bastard. He’s the real bastard here. That’s what I tell myself anyway. It’s not like he actually told me he wanted to fuck me. Maybe, despite Debbie’s thoughts on the matter, he was actually trying to be nice for once in his life and not just after a quick fuck. Yeah, well, it’s too late now. I suddenly feel his hand around my wrist pull me to a stop. “Let go of me. I really need to go.” I wrench my wrist out of his arm and hurry behind the counter and disappear into the kitchen hoping that he’ll leave so I don’t have to take his order. I do my best to ignore the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach again. But it won’t go away. Stupid Brian Kinney. I wish I had never met him.

_______________________________________

**Brian**   


Ok.

Nothing like that has ever happened to me before. So, after that little “talk” with Justin I had stormed out of there. I had to go to work _anyway_. But it didn’t matter that I had gone. To work, I mean. There was only thing that revolved around my thoughts and I’m sure you can figure out what. Stupid fucking Debbie. I had felt her eyes on my back as I stormed out of the diner. I could feel her smirk of triumph that she had gotten her little Sunshine safe and away from the big bad wolf. God. The things he _said_.

I hadn’t known he could be that…malicious.

So, because of this afternoon, I had bit off Cynthia’s head more then a thousand times. She hasn’t been in my office at all after that. I look over at the clock on the wall. Midnight. I’m fucking hungry; I skipped lunch because, after his stupid speech, I had stormed out of there. There was no way I was going to eat after that. Now I was regretting it and since I knew he wouldn’t be there at this time I could go. Michael would be there along with Emmett and whoever else they dragged along with them. Most likely Ted. Sighing, I lock my office and walk over to where Cynthia’s sitting at her desk. 

She looks at me wearily.

Understandable.

“I’m leaving.”

“Alright. Have a nice night.”

_Real fucking likely_.

“I’m sure I will. You too.”

“…Thanks.”

I don’t answer her. I just leave and head over to the diner. I think about what I should say to Debbie. I should fucking bite her head off. When I walk inside - - Oh fuck. This is not happening. Michael is not sitting at the bar with Justin. Fuckfuckfuck! Groaning inwardly, I stalk over to the stool next to Michael and am careful to not even glance in Justin’s direction. Michael grins over at me. God, him and his stupid infatuation with me. I can’t handle it tonight. “Hey, Brian!” I glare over at him. “Don’t fucking talk to me.” Justin doesn’t say anything but he obviously knows I’m here.

Then Debbie stands ahead of us behind the counter with her stupid pad of paper.

“Hiya, boys! Gettin’ any tonight?”

I send her the most horrible glare I can muster.

“ _No_ , thank you. I’d just like to order. My sex life is none of your business anyway.”

I quickly order, then Michael and then Justin. Once Debbie’s gone I lean over and look over at him. “Isn’t it past your fucking bedtime?” Michael looks completely lost and confused. The blond glares over at me. “Aren’t you supposed to be picking up some underage blond kid right about now?” I smirk. “I didn’t hear _you_ complaining yesterday.” He snorts and shrugs, determinedly looking away from me. “That’s before I knew you were a fucking whore.” Michael snorts and I glare at him. What kind of fucking best friend is he anyway? He’s supposed to be on my side. Before I can say anything Debbie comes up with our food. For once she was actually speedy about the process.

“Thanks, ma.”

After a little bit more small talk, I don’t include myself, I glare over at Michael. At the moment his nose is buried in a sketchpad that I recognize as Justin’s from this afternoon. Michael’s practically drooling all over Justin’s work. It makes me fucking sick. Well, at least if he has a crush on Sunshine then he’ll get over me. Hopefully. I shift in my seat. When Michael does notice me glaring at him he immediately looks confused. “What the fuck’s wrong with you?” I shrug. “This food tastes fucking horrible.” That said I slide off my stool and grab my coat. “I’m gonna go.” Michael focuses all of his attention on me. For once tonight.

“Babylon?”

“No.”

“That baths?”

“No.”

“Where the fuck are you going then?”

“Didn’t it ever register to you that I do have a fucking _home_?”

Michael didn’t say anything and I leave.

I really do go home too. I guess I’m too pissed to go anywhere else. That doesn’t stop me from looking up some blond on the Internet and making him get his ass over here so I can at least make my fantasies partially real. It’d be better if I could have the real blond here though. Fucker.


	4. Drink You Pretty

Fix me now  
I wish you would  
Bring me back to life  
Kiss me blind somebody should  
From hollow into light  
 **Fix Me Now – Garbage**

 

_________________________

**J.T**   


“Hey, Taylor.”

Shit. Shit. _SHIT_. I ignore the harsh voice of Chris Hobbs and continue walking away from the library; I speed my steps up in hopes that he’ll leave me alone today. I press a button on my new watch and it tells me what time it is. “Six-thirty.” Shit. That means it’s going to get dark soon and Chris bullying me isn’t what I need right now. Swallowing, I can still hear his heavy footsteps behind me; I dig into my pocket and search for my cell phone to call my mom so she can pick me up. I long ago learned which keys were which. Suddenly the cell phone is knocked out of my hand and I hear it clatter down on the cement sidewalk and then, Chris’ hand is curling around the collar of my jacket and slamming me against a hard surface. A wall. 

“ _Ignoring_ me now, blind boy?”

“N-n-no.”

“That’s what it looked like to me.”

I swallow. I’ve always been intimidated by Chris. What blind person wouldn’t? What really short blind person wouldn’t? I try to get away from him, loosen his hold on my jacket but he only holds tighter. His other hand wraps around my throat and holds me still against the wall. His fingers tighten as if in warning. If I move he’ll probably squeeze harder, which will then lead to me panicking even more and getting killed or seriously injured. So, I stay still. That’s the safest thing to do that the moment anyway. His fingers loosen just slightly and I feel his disgusting breath wash over my face and hear him chuckle. Sick asshole. He’s probably getting off on this right now…hurting me.

“Well, aren’t you going to answer me?”

“U-um…”

Chris laughs again and I wonder if someone will walk anywhere near us and see what’s happening and save me. I highly doubt it. The library closes in five minutes so no one would have a reason to come up here. Unless they wanted to torture and scare the hell out of blind people. Chris mocks me and my stuttering, my speechlessness. I’m so fucking scared right now it’s not even funny. Sure, I should be used to Chris’ bullying tendencies but it still frightens me every time. I don’t reply to him making fun of me though I probably should. His fingers squeeze and I think he enjoys watching me struggle for breath. No, I know he enjoys watching as I gasp for breath as he continues to tighten his fingers. Then they loosen and I gulp in cold air. It hurts my lungs but I welcome the pain because I need to breathe.

“Haven’t seen you around lately, Taylor.”

“B-been busy.”

“I’ll bet. With your fag friends?”

I don’t answer at first. I don’t know what to say except, “L-let me go.” He laughs again, his bad breath intoxicating me again. I almost gag but I don’t because I don’t want him to see. “You’re so fucking pathetic, Taylor. Don’t worry…I’ll let you go…as soon as I’m done with you.” Suddenly I’m being yanked off the wall, a punch, two, three punches are landed on my face and I hear my nose make a sickening crack and I let out a yell. I hope, pray, that someone will hear me but I know they won’t. Then I’m being spun around and a hand is in my hair and slamming my face against the brick wall. Then I’m being held against is and, somehow, my pants had ended up down around my ankles. The throbbing of my face becomes unnoticeable when I realize this. Realize what’s happening or what I think is happening.

And I would’ve yelled again if my throat wasn’t blocked up with tears.

“Don’t make a sound, asshole.”

As if. I clench my fingers into the wall and try to push away and maybe ram into him but it doesn’t work. His grip is too strong on me. Then his finger is up my ass and I freak out. And it’s a good thing I freak out too because my foot comes up at its own accord and I think I get him right in the crotch. He lets out a surprised and pained scream and I feel him release me. I pull up my pants and run. Now, it isn’t the safest thing to do, running while blind. And the tears in my eyes are keeping me from seeing any outlines of people or objects that I can trip on. I don’t care though. All I care about is getting away from Chris Hobbs. I run into things multiple times. A building, a post, and a trash can but this doesn’t stop me. 

I don’t stop running until I know I’m in Liberty Avenue.

Multiple people ask me if I’m alright. I can imagine the looks on their faces. Surprise, concerned, shocked at how my face got so bloody. Bloody and mixed with tears. I ignore them and try to make it to the diner without hurting myself anymore but I’m in a state of panic and I fall flat on my face three times before making it to the door, pushing it open and stumbling into the diner. I hear the loud clinking of glasses and plates, I smell the strong scent of tons of different foods mixed together, and hear the loud voices of the customers. I think they silence though, just a tad, when I make an appearance. Suddenly there’s someone standing in front of me. A tall figure and I know it’s Brian because I can smell him.

“Fuck, Sunshine, what the hell happened.”

And, despite the fact that I’m mad at him I let him pull me into an embrace as I start to cry even harder.

_________________________

It’s only an hour later that I finally realize that I let Brian lead me out of the diner, into, I assume, his vehicle, and to the hospital. I hadn’t been thinking when I let him lead me out. I had been too busy enjoying the warmth of his arms around me, strong and gentle, and the feel of his fingers stroking away tears as they fell and the way his voice just…washed over me and told me that it was ok even though I wasn’t sure that it would be and even though he didn’t know what had happened. Now I’m in a place that I’ve always hated sitting on an uncomfortable hospital bed waiting for the doctor. Brian’s standing next to me. I avoid looking at him but I can feel his piercing gaze on me and I wipe away the tear stains that I can feel on my face.

“Are you ok?”

That’s the fourth time he’s asked me since we left the diner and I hadn’t been able to answer before. I shake my head, staring straight ahead. “No.” I hear him shift on his feet, feel him inch a little closer, and I can practically hear him trying to think of something to say. “What happened?” I shake my head again and cross my arms securely over my chest trying not to think about what almost happened today. I almost got fucking raped. I almost got fucking _raped_ by someone I assumed was straight. I almost got raped. I chock up again. “I hate the hospital.” I let out a deep breath and then draw another on in again. Brian steps closer still until he’s standing directly in front of me, his hips connecting with my knees. I wish he would sit down like I am. “Justin…”

“I don’t want to fucking talk about it.”

I mentally curse as my voice comes out high pitched and choked up. I feel a hand envelope around mine and I almost pull it away but my brain won’t allow that. His hand’s comfortable, warm and nice. He squeezes gently since he probably takes me not pulling away as a good thing and I’m sure he was about to say something, maybe even sorry for everything that has happened lately but I hear the door open and he quickly steps away and I know it’s the doctor. “Mr. Taylor and Mr.…” I hear some papers rustle around as the doctor is precise and to the point but he sounds nice. “Brian Kinney…” 

“So, what happened here?”

The doctor steps closer to me and I answer before Brian can. 

“I accidentally ran into a wall.”

I bet he doesn’t believe me. I don’t even _sound_ convincing. The doctor doesn’t question me. I forget what his name is but I don’t bother asking. I don’t really care anyway. He declares that my nose is, indeed, broken. No fucking way. So, he tapes up my nose or whatever-the-fuck they do for broken noses and tells me to redress it everyday and that in a few weeks time it should be all healed. He hands Brian the pain medication and tells me to only take it when I absolutely need it. I don’t answer, I just nod. I want to get out of here as quickly as possible. I sign a few papers and Brian leads me out of the hospital, hand gentle on the small of my back.

When we’re outside he stops so I stop.

“Justin…what happened? _Really_?”

“Chris Hobbs happened.”

He doesn’t say anything at first and I think he lets the subject drop. Until we’re both back in his car. He helps me buckle my seatbelt and even starts the car before talking again and I wish he wouldn’t. I don’t want to talk about it but I know I will tell him if he asks me. If he asks me in that concerned and sincere fucking voice of his. “What’d he do?” Not only does he sound concerned and sincere…he also sounds fucking pissed. I don’t say anything. I keep my mouth clamped shut. I know I’ll eventually talk though. “C’mon, Sunshine…” I shift in my seat and slide down a little bit and curl my legs upwards so I can wrap my arms around them.

“Where are you taking me?”

“My place.”

“Why?”

“So we can talk.”

I sigh. I don’t say another word though and neither does he. Than, a little while later, the car stops and he cuts the engine. “We’re here.” I don’t know where “here” is but I get out of the car and he grabs my wrist and leads me into a warm building and than into a rickety sounded elevator. “Is this elevator safe?” Brian quickly answers with an “Of course” and I hesitantly let him lead me the rest of the way inside the square box. I lean stiffly against the wall as it takes us upwards. I jump slightly as it makes a loud noise, metal screeching against metal, and than stops. I listen as Brian lifts up the metal gate and he’s leading me off the contraption and the next thing I hear is a metal door sliding open and he’s leading me somewhere else.

“This is my loft…”

The door slams shut. “Oh.” I listen as he walks away from me and then, “Want something to drink?” I cross my arms tightly over my chest and shake my head. “No, thank you.” I hear him walk back towards me after pouring something in a glass and then his hand his wrapped loosely around my wrist and he’s slowly and carefully leading me towards somewhere…and then he’s seating me on a comfortable couch. It sinks lower as he sits next to me. Neither of us say anything at first and I shift in the seat, toe off my sneakers and curl my legs up underneath me. I have a feeling that I’ll be here for a while since he’s so adamant about talking to me so I might as well be comfortable.

“Chris Hobbs…what’d he do to you?”

“Do you really care?”

I think we both know that I’m stalling. He hesitates answering…I can feel it.

“…Yes.”

I almost ask him if he cares about me just to see if he really does. To see if maybe, for once, Debbie’s wrong about him but I don’t. Instead, “I was at the library…I like the library ‘cause it’s quiet and I can just be…alone.” He doesn’t interrupt. He doesn’t say anything. He only sits next to me, his gaze boring holes into me. I swallow and look over in his direction. “And it was closing soon…I’d been there for hours…and some woman told me it was time to leave so I left and I was walking a down the sidewalk…ready to call my mom ‘cause she told me to call her when she needed to come pick me up. I should have called her before I even left the library but…I wasn’t thinking and…he came up behind me, talked to me…” I stop. Why the hell am I even telling him this? Because he’s fucking convincing when he’s concerned and angry for me. When he actually seems like he cares about me and because my brain is telling me, _yelling_ at me, to tell him. “And slammed me against a wall. He choked me first…made fun of me. Then…”

I bite my lip. 

This is stupid. My brain is stupid. I can’t tell him.

“What?”

Then he sounds so fucking concerned and so fucking caring that I have to tell him. I press the heels of my hands to my eyes when I feel myself start to cry. A hand grabs my shoulder and hesitantly brings me closer to the form that is Brian and in a matter of seconds I’m curled up in his lap, face buried in between the space that joins his neck and shoulder together. He doesn’t seem to care that I’m getting him wet and that I’m getting his clothes wet too. “What’d he do, Sunshine?” Funny, I don’t feel much like sunshine today. “He tried to…tried…tried to fuck me.”

“You mean… _rape_ you.”

I’m sure if I hadn’t been on his lap right now he would’ve stormed out of his loft, hunted down Chris, and beaten him to a bloody pulp. Or maybe even kill him. He sounds angry enough to kill anyway. I not against him, eyes squeezed shut and I’m ashamed at how bad I’m shaking. He doesn’t seem to care though, he only wraps his arms tighter around my form in a protective manner and…I _do_ feel protected. He even kisses my forehead, a hand running gently through my hair and his other hand making circles on my back trying to soothe me and then he’s rocking me…just slightly until I fall asleep in his arms feeling considerably better than I had a little while ago…despite the fact that my nose hurts like fucking hell.

_________________________

I don’t know how long I slept. When I wake up I’m greeted with the sound of Brian’s voice. He’s talking to someone and I’m pretty sure he’s on the phone.

“He’s sleeping.”

Pause.

“ _No_ , I didn’t fuck him. Fuck you.”

Another pause.

“No, I didn’t force him here against his will either. Fuck you, Deb, fuck you. I didn’t call you to get an earful of your bullshit. I called you to tell you that he was ok since I know his mother is probably looking for him. Now, I’m going to tell you to go fuck yourself one more time and then hang up on you. So, go fuck yourself.”

There was a beep and I hear the phone being set down. I smile slightly. The phone exchange between Brian and Debbie had been slightly, if not a lot, amusing. I keep my eyes closed though; I stay curled up in ball on the sofa. I realize that sometime while I’ve been asleep that he had draped a blanket on me making me feel toasty and warm. I try to curl myself up tighter, maybe even fall asleep again but it doesn’t work out. I’m too busy concentrating on Brian moving around the loft. I hear the fridge open and then shut. I hear ice being placed into a glass and then liquid being poured. Then he’s walking over here. I make sure to still look asleep because if I let him know I’m awake I’m not sure what I’d say to him.

He sinks down on the couch, his hands gently placing my head on his lap and his hands finger my hair and, sometimes, dance over the face. He’s careful to not touch my damaged nose. His index finger even trails across my lips at one point and it takes everything part of me and my self-control to not kiss his finger. Instead, I just sigh, content, and try to make myself fall asleep but that’s still not working out for me. My body refuses to let me fall asleep. I hesitantly let my eyes flutter open, rolling over so I’m on my back and staring directly up at him. I really wish I could see him so I could see his facial expression. But I can only wish and the wish never comes true. His hand moves over my forehead and through my hair again and his hand eventually stops, fingers twining with my hair. 

“How long have I been asleep?”

“A few hours.”

“What time is it?”

The idea to check my own watch doesn’t even register. Maybe I just want to hear his voice instead of the electronic voice of my watch. His soothing voice…I’ll take it over my watch any day. “Ten.” God, I have been asleep for a long time. More than just a _few_ hours. I don’t make a move to get up because I’m really comfortable lying here with my head on his lap. His fingers resume their stroking and I let my eyes fall shut again and I pull the blanket closer around me. “I brought you some of your pain meds…incase you needed them.” I open my eyes again and smile up at him. I can’t help but feel slightly…happy at the fact that he was thinking about me in pain and wanted to do something about it.

“That’d be nice…thanks.”

He helps me sit up and my nose is suddenly throbbing. My whole face is throbbing. I wonder how bruised my face is. It’s probably so fucked up looking. I frown and gently run my fingers over my skin. “How bad is the damage?” Brian doesn’t answer at first and I bet he’s wondering whether he should tell the truth or lie. It must be pretty bad. “You look like shit.” I crack a grin but it hurts to smile so I quickly get rid of it. “Great. I guess I won’t be getting any tips at the diner anytime soon then.” I hear him chuckle and he takes my hand and places to pills in my palm and then a glass in my other hand. “I’ll still tip you.”

“Yeah, because you pity me.”

He doesn’t answer, at least not yet and I swallow down the pills with the icy cold water he had handed me. It’s only when he takes the glass from me and sets it back on a coffee table in front of us that he answers.

“No, ‘cause you’re _still_ gorgeous to me.”


	5. Drink You Pretty

  


I am full of regrets  
For all the things that I've done and said  
And I don't know if it'll ever be ok to show  
My face around here  
Sometimes I wonder if I disappear  
 **Tangled – Maroon 5**

**______________________________**

**J.T**   


I hadn’t replied when Brian had said that to me. What could I have said? ‘Oh, gee, thanks, you really think so?’ No, not really. I’m not sure if he took my silence as a bad thing or if he took it as anything at all. Then he had gotten up, asked me if I needed anything to which I responded no, and then he walked away with a ‘goodnight’ and just…left me there. How the hell did he expect me to just…fall asleep after being asleep for so many hours? So, after that, I just sat there on his couch and thought. My brain had a million questions that wanted to be answered. Like: if Brian’s such an asshole how come he’s being so fucking nice to me? Maybe I’ll even ask Debbie and see what she has to say that.

Anyway – that was probably the number one question that had run through my mind until Brian got up in the morning. Or what I’m assuming is morning. 

“Have you been awake this entire time?”

“Define ‘this entire time’.” 

“You woke up at ten. It’s _six_ now.”

“Yeah, I’ve been awake.”

I hear him walk away then, “Are you hungry?” I don’t say anything at first and I think it over. I’m hungry, yeah, but can I actually eat? Does one really want to eat after being sexually harassed the day before? He beats me to answering. “Probably a stupid question.” I nod in agreement and slowly stand up off the sofa. I don’t know what to do with myself in a strange environment. And with Brian around. All I know is that I can’t sit anymore. I’m tired of sitting and, probably, a little sore too. “Yeah, stupid…but I am thirsty.” I hear the sound of Brian swinging his fridge open and I slowly follow the sound. I don’t even know if he wants me in his kitchen. Some people are weird about people being in their kitchens. 

“I have water, water, and…more water…I haven’t really gone grocery shopping. Well, I really don’t go at all…I’m not usually home much…”

He’s rambling. I can tell and I can also tell that he can tell that I can tell. If that makes any sense at all. He immediately shuts his mouth and the fridge door slams shut. I shrug. “I kinda figured – I mean, I kinda figured that you weren’t home much.” I’m such a little shit. He’s done nothing but treat me nice since I met him and I’m pouring out all the hostility I can onto him. I see the very faint outline of, what I think is, a counter and reach out and grab the edge. Yes, counter. My hip bumps into a stool and I quickly reach out and grab it before it can fall. Save. I slowly seat myself onto it and wait for his reaction. He’ll probably be pissed. “Justin…”

“What?”

He hands me a bottle of cold water and I busy myself with unscrewing the lid and taking a long sip. My mouth is unusually dry and I have a strong feeling that Brian’s going to talk my ass off. “Never mind.” He lets out a heavy sigh and I can hear him fiddling around with things on the other side of the counter. I don’t know why but I feel oddly and stupidly disappointed when he _doesn’t_ talk my ass off. As if I had been hoping he would talk my ass off. As if he just…dropped me. I mentally curse at myself and hope I don’t look disappointed too. “It’s just that…” Ok, so maybe he will talk my ass off. I ignore the feeling of my stupid gay hopes rising at the fact. “You shouldn’t believe everything people tell you.”

I snort. Yes, that’s me: heartless, little, fucking, asshole. I’m a shit.

“So you _don’t_ fuck everything that moves?”

I really need to learn how to keep my mouth shut. I really, really do. He lets out another one of those heavy, slightly down, sighs and I feel even guiltier. But…but…HE’S the one who should be feeling guilty right now. Not me! I didn’t do anything. I’m just stating the truth. But why the hell does it feel so…horrible? _Let’s see, Justin, because he just fucking HELPED you and TOOK CARE of you and CARED about you and didn’t say ONE mean thing to you the entire time_. I ignore myself. I ignore myself because myself is…pretty much right. I hate my mother fucking self sometimes. Like right now.

“No, I do but,”

“But you’ve suddenly _changed_? You want to engage yourself in the world of dating?”

God, can’t I just keep my mouth shut for one fucking second? Obviously not. “That’s not it.” I twirl the bottle of water in my hands, “Then _what_ is it?”

______________________________

**B.K**   


He’s difficult. Fucking difficult. He knows it too, little fucker. I wish I could just…reach out and slap him but he’s right too, which makes everything even worst. It’s not that I want to “engage myself in the world of dating” as he so bluntly put it – I just want **him**. And not just to fuck. I just want and I can’t quite explain it. All I know is that I want him and not just for sexual reasons but I can’t tell _him_ that. He seems adamant in taking all the chances he can to tell me that I’m a horrible person. Of course, I don’t blame him. If I was in his shoes and I thought someone just wanted me for my ass then…I’d probably be pissed too.

“I don’t know what it is.”

He does that snorting/scoffing thing again. I. Hate. Debbie. I hate. Her. She should just mind her own business for once in her fucking life. I watch as he twirls his bottle of water around in circles and I almost take it away from him because it’s extremely annoying at the moment. He smirks over at me and I want to slap it off. Or kiss it off maybe. He’d probably freak though if I even came close to doing that. That would just make my entire situation with him even worst. Plus, he’d probably scream rape or something. Speaking of rape, I’m going to kill that stupid Chris fucking Hobbs. I would’ve gone after him yesterday if I hadn’t decided to take care of Justin instead.

“Brian, this is simple. You fuck. Nothing else. There isn’t anything else to it and I highly doubt that that can change after going out with me once.”

“You’ve been listening to Debbie _real_ closely haven’t you? Too bad she doesn’t operate my feelings and too bad she can’t read my fucking mind. Too bad _you_ don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

I can’t read his expression for a moment and the, surprisingly, he doesn’t look at me with a look if disgust like earlier. Just…curiosity.

“How come you did?”

“You’re not a very specific person are you?”

He rolls his eyes and the twirling of his water bottle suddenly stops.

“Why’d you ask me out? From what I gathered from Debbie, you don’t date.”

Wasn’t this the question everyone wanted to know? Including me. I hesitate on answering. What the hell am I supposed to say? That I had a quick change of heart? No fucking way. I guess he grows tired of my hesitating because, “You do know that that was a date, right?” I can hear a hint of amusement in his voice and I smile slightly. Maybe he’s lightening up a little bit. Maybe he’s cutting me some slack finally. “ _Yes_ , I know it was a date, thank you very much.” He smiles and I’m surprised. Whatever – maybe he’s Bi Polar. “Than why is it taking you so long to answer the question? It’s really simple. Why did you ask me out? Did you figure it would be easier to get into the blind kids pants if you played nice first?”

“Maybe.”

I hope he knows I’m teasing and he does ‘cause his smile gets wider.

“It probably would’ve worked too.”

“Yeah, if Debbie hadn’t gotten to you first.”

We’re both silent but I know he’s not mad because he still has a small smile on his face and he resumes twirling the stupid fucking bottle of water in his hands again. I watch him and I wonder if he knows I’m watching him because he’s blind. So he obviously can’t see that I’m watching him. I wonder if he can feel it. Probably. His smiles slowly disappears and a sincerely confused look comes across his face.

“So?”

“So _what_?”

“So, why’d you do it?”

Shit – that question again and this time I have to answer it. Honestly too. How can I do that, though, when I don’t even know the honest answer to that?

“I…I don’t know.”

“Ok.”

______________________________

For the next hour we actually engage in polite conversation. Well, actually, I basically told him that I was going to kill that Chris fucker for him, he laughed, and silence ensued. Though, it was comfortable silence. Finally he told me that he needed to go home because his mom was obviously worried as hell about him. I lead him out of the loft, down the elevator, and into my jeep and take it upon myself to drive him home. I don’t want to let him go. Now an awkward silence sits in the air as we both sit there in my jeep contemplating what to say to each other.

“Um…thanks.”

I’m glad he finally says something.

“Your welcome.”

“I…I guess I should go then.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

He smiles amusedly over at me, opens the door and slowly slides out. I stop him before he can shut the door. “Wait! Wait.” God, I sound like such a **desperate** mother fucker. He cocks his head just slightly and I tell myself that he doesn’t look extremely adorable and he gives me a confused look. “I was just wondering if you wanted to go,”

“Are you asking me out again?”

“What? No. Other people will be there.”

“Where?”

“…Babylon?”

“Are you sure?”

He laughs at me. God, I hadn’t meant to say it as a question. I smile slightly.

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

He smiles at me for a second and then, “Bye, Brian.” Then he slams the door shut, smile still on his face, walks down the sidewalk towards his front door and disappears behind it. What a Fucktard. I just sit there for a minute thinking that he’ll come back out and tell me yes or no instead of just…bye. When he doesn’t I drive off wondering what the hell that was supposed to mean.

And telling myself that I didn’t ask him out again.

______________________________

**J.T**   


Brian Kinney asked me out again.

And I would have had time to think about it except my mom was soon gathering me in her arms, crying, and telling me how happy she was that I was ok and that that bastard hadn’t hurt me too bad. When she finally got a chance to see the bruises on my face she went into full mother-mode and immediately began to fuss over me, careful not to even touch my broken nose. Then she cooked me a huge breakfast that I didn’t touch. I told her I wasn’t hungry and that I wanted to take a nap. She bought it and let me go upstairs. When I was upstairs I didn’t sleep.

Brian Kinney asked me out **again**.

I’m might be stupid – I probably am but…

I think I’m going to Babylon.

I also think I need to talk to Debbie.


	6. Drink You Pretty

  


Never had a plan   
and no security then   
ever since I met you   
I never could forget you  
 **Wondering – Good Charlotte**

**__________________________**

**J.T**   


I wake up Friday morning; nose feeling considerably better than it had four days ago when Brian had brought me back home. I had avoided asking Daphne to take me to Babylon for the main reason that I didn’t want to go with a large bandage on my nose. For one, I would’ve looked incredibly stupid. Two, well, I would have looked **incredibly stupid**. I slowly make my way out of bed, not sure if I want to go to work today. I haven’t seen Brian once since he had driven me home and if Brian was coming to the diner then he was carefully making sure that I had no idea that he was there. Why he would be avoiding me, I don’t know. Maybe because I never clearly answered him when he “ _didn’t_ ” ask me out again.

 

“You better hurry if you want to make it to work on time.”

 

I had been too busy thinking to even notice that my mom had opened my bedroom door. I quickly tell her that I’m getting up and she shuts the door again with an ok. As soon as she’s gone I get up off my bed and scrounge around for some clothes to wear. I settle with a pair of black corduroy pants and a light blue tee shirt. I run a brush through my hair but I don’t bother trying to do anything special to it and head out of the house without so much as one of the muffins that my mom made for breakfast. I’m not hungry - more like disappointed for some reason. That “some reason” being that Brian is avoiding me. At least, I _think_ he is. I’m also slightly nervous. I really need to talk to Debbie. If I go to Babylon the word is going to get around to her sometime.

 

_Especially_ that I was with Brian.

 

“Justin, wait!”

 

I turn around at the sound of my mom’s voice and her feet quickly padding towards me.

 

“I can give you a ride.”

 

Ever since the Chris Hobbs thing she’s been extremely overbearing and protective, which I totally understand. And I’m glad too. I smile and nod not wanting to disappoint her. I don’t think that Chris will bother me anytime soon – and even if he did want to bother me like that again I don’t think he would come to Liberty Avenue and do it. Where there are tons of people milling around. But I don’t want my mom to be a worrying wreck all day like I know she will be if I tell her that it’s ok and that I don’t need her to drop me off. 

 

“Alright, lets go.”

 

When she drops me off at the diner she gives me a kiss on the cheek and tells me she’ll pick me up at the end of my shift, two, and we’ll go home and continue my home schooling. Since me almost being raped had happened she had given me a few days to just relax and not worry about studying and doing work and whatnot. I’m glad she’s starting it up again. I was getting bored despite knowing that most kids my age would jump at the opportunity of not doing school work for four days straight. I told her goodbye and slid out of her car and hurried into the warmth of the diner, pulling off my mittens and receiving a huge hello from Debbie. I grin and make my way around the counter and throw my heavy coat off and get my apron situated.

 

“Good morning, Sunshine!”

 

“Good morning, Deb.”

 

“You’re nose is lookin’ better.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

She leaves me at that when someone yells out that they want their fucking food. A few seconds later I can hear Debbie reaming him out and telling him that he needed to learn some manners. I smile and get to work on cleaning the empty tables concentrating only on cleaning. That’s why I jump when I feel someone tap my shoulder. “Didn’t mean to startle you, Sunshine.” Brian. I immediately relax and shrug. “That’s ok.” I begin wiping again and wonder if he’s going to tell me why he has been avoiding me the last four days. As if reading my mind, 

 

“Incase you were wondering – I’ve been away on business.”

 

“O-Oh. I was wondering.”

 

“I figured.”

 

I raise an eyebrow, stand up, and turn to face his form.

 

“Why’s _that_?”

 

I hear him chuckle.

 

“Because you agreed to go to Babylon with me and, if I had to guess, you were probably wondering where I was because you obviously wouldn’t go unless you knew I was going to be there.”

 

I roll my eyes.

 

“I **never** agreed to anything and you’re full of shit.”

 

“Well, now’s your chance.”

 

“My chance to what exactly?”

 

“Have a good night. With _me_. Tomorrow.”

 

I smile slightly, wringing the washcloth I’m holding in my hands.

 

“If I remember correctly, you said that other people were going to be there and that it wasn’t a date. Now, it sounds like it’s just going to be you and me. I don’t know about _you_ but, to me, that sounds very ‘date like’.”

 

I bet he’s smiling. I **know** he’s smiling even though I can’t hear it.

 

“There will be other people. There are always other people in Babylon. Plus – maybe I lied.”

 

I shake my head and resume to wiping the table.

 

“I guess so but on one condition.”

 

“What?”

 

“You don’t run off with some trick and leave me behind.”

 

He’s silent for a moment but I don’t think it’s out of hesitance. 

 

“That won’t be a problem, Sunshine.”

 

His hand suddenly ruffles through my hair like I’m a ten-year-old and I yank my head away scowling at him. “I’m seventeen – not ten.” He chuckles but doesn’t reply and I hear his footsteps fading away and then the bells over the door jingling signaling that he’s leaving. I smile slightly and move on to the next table. Then Debbie stops me, suspicion in her voice.

 

“Have somthin’ to tell me, Sunshine?”

 

I think a moment and then,

 

“No, not really.”

 

Because…none of this is really **her** business.

__________________________

**B.** K

I stop by St. James Academy right before the last bell rings with one thing running through my mind. Chris Hobbs’ ass is mine. I park my jeep in the student parking and make my way towards the front doors of the school, hands stuffed into the pockets of my pants, and watching carefully as students mill out of the building from behind my designer sunglasses. Only the best. Then I see him. It took the whole four days since I dropped Justin off to actually find out who Chris Hobbs was but, when I did, I memorized every detail from the yearbook picture I had and made sure to kick his ass good and hard.

 

Give him a real scare.

 

He’s laughing and joking, hand momentarily slapping a blond girl’s ass. She giggles like the bimbo that she is and sends him a, what I’m guessing is supposed to be, a seductive look of flirtation. Disgusting if you ask me. I make my way towards the group telling myself not to unleash my anger on him just yet. I’m surprised that Jennifer hasn’t called the police yet with everything that has happened. Or maybe she did and they didn’t do anything about it. Chris’s father was powerful. He was probably one of the richest men in Pittsburgh and definitely had the power on his side. Chris could probably get away with just about anything. Even attempting to rape someone. 

 

“Are you Chris Hobbs?”

 

The ass wipe, looking slightly confused, nods. 

 

“Yeah, that’s me.”

 

“May I please have a word with you? It’ll only be a minute.”

 

He nods reluctantly, tells his friends he’ll be right back, and follows me to a secluded part of the lawn of the school. Once we’re out of earshot of other ears I grab the collar of his shirt and drag him behind a few trees that were planted to give the school a nice, come hither look. Startled, Chris tries to pull away.

 

“What the hell are you doing, asshole?”

 

“Shut the fuck up and listen to me.”

 

I tighten my grip on his collar as he struggles and he must realize he won’t be able to get away because he slowly relaxes, eyes wide. 

 

“If I hear that you’ve laid one hand on Justin again – I’ll kick your tight little virgin ass so hard you won’t be able to sit for a week. That’s a promise.”

 

I let go of him roughly, pushing him in the process so that he falls to the ground with a heavy thump.

 

“It was nice talking to you, Mr. Hobbs.”

 

With that, I walk away, running a hand furiously through my hair, and slide back into my jeep. I watch as the ruffled man stumbles back to his friends, bewildered look still on his face. I can tell he doesn’t tell his friends what happened because they soon start laughing again. I don’t miss the still frightened look on Chris’ face though. Good. Smiling to myself I speed away satisfied with my little threatening. It was much but it was, most likely and hopefully, enough to keep Chris off Justin’s back. Literally. I push the thought away and focus on different things. Better things. More confused things.

 

Like my “un-date” tomorrow with Justin.

 

And how people will probably ( **will** ) react to it.


	7. Drink You Pretty

                                    

I want you And everything you say just makes me want you And every single day I just want you in every single way i just want you And I'm just lost **I Want You – Basement Jaxx**

 

__________________________

 

**BK**

 

Michael hadn’t been too happy when I told him, five minutes before I was leaving it pick the blond up, that Justin was going to be joining us.  Thank god the two of us were talking over the phone or I’m sure Michael would have committed some act of violence against me.  But he had settled with yelling me ear off, scolding me on taking a blind kid into a club full of hormonal perverted men.  I mean, seriously, he’s going to be with me and, when someone’s with me, they get left alone.  I had told him that but Michael had only muttered a ‘whatever’ and then we had hung up together.  

 

If I had to guess – there’s probably an entire other reason why he doesn’t want Justin to go.  Either he has a huge crush on Justin and doesn’t want to see Justin with me or he **still** has a huge crush on me and he doesn’t want to see Justin with me.  Either way, it doesn’t matter because Justin is still definitely coming with me and, I can assure everyone, nothing is going to happen to his fuckable self while he’s with _me_.  I take one last look at myself in the mirror before I head out of my loft. I know it doesn’t matter how I look – he can’t even see me and how good I look but, that doesn’t matter.

 

I can _pretend_ he’ll know.

 

I hurry out of my loft, down the slow as hell elevator, and into my jeep.  I thank the gods that there isn’t any traffic and I speed along to Justin’s house, get out, and go as far to knock on the door.  I’m so fucking polite.  His mom answers the door and I’m a little caught off guard.  I hadn’t really planned on talking to his mother.  I’ve never talked to anyone’s mother before, well, you know what I mean.  She smiles at me and, “You must be Brian.”  I quickly nod, not sure what to say. Shouldn’t she be freaking out about some old man taking her seventeen-year-old son out late at night?  “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Taylor.”

 

I hold out my hand and she shakes it, warm smile on her face and she invites me in. Shit – why the hell is she inviting me in?  Where the hell is Justin?  He needs to get his ass out here and save me from this.  I follow her inside. Her home is cozy, comfortable and anyone coming in can tell right away that she’s well off.  I notice that, out of all the pictures hanging up and sitting around, Justin’s dad isn’t in any of them.  Then I suddenly realize that he’s never even talked about his father.  I’ve never heard anything about him before.  I push away my burning curiosity to know and sigh in relief when I see Justin suddenly appear around a corner, small smile on his face.

 

How does he manage to dress so…hot?

 

He’s blind.  He can’t see.  So, however he got on those too-tight blue jeans and that tight deep blue tank top is a question I would really love to have answered.  “Hey, Brian.”  I manage a hey in his direction since I still feel slightly awkward with his mother standing right there.  I swallow and shove my hands in the pockets of my jeans and hope that she releases us from her clutches soon.  “Justin - - be careful.”  He rolls his eyes, sauntering towards us, small smile on his face.  “I’ll be fine, mom.”  He hugs her and kisses her on the cheek and then he’s “looking” up at me.

 

“Ready to go?”

 

He quickly nods, says one last goodbye to Jennifer, and we’re out.

 

 

__________________________

                                                                                                                   

**JT**

I had had the **hardest** time getting my mom to let me go anywhere with Brian.  For one, she had pointed out that there was a huge age difference.  She had fucking flipped when I told her how old he was – six years older than me.  Twenty-three – There was no way, she had said, in hell that I was going out with a twenty-three-year-old.  Never and that was that.  Then I had made the point that it was Brian who had taken care of me when Chris had attacked me, which definitely lightened up her mood about Brian because, well, anyone who helped her son was her best-friend. 

 

So, with some more arguing, she _finally_ agreed to let me go.

 

Which was a huge move on her part that I will always thank her for, assuming that tonight goes well, which I really, really hope it does.  Brian helped me into his jeep and then he gets into his seat.  Even though I can do it myself he leans over and does my seatbelt for me too.  It’s probably just an excuse to get closer to me, though, I won’t complain about it and I definitely won’t say anything about it.  I smile and tell him thanks and when he says your welcome I can hear the smile that’s on his face and I thank God that things are good so far.  Sure, it’s only been like two minutes but, still, anything could have happened in those two minutes.

 

“Your mom’s nice.”

 

I grin – yeah, she is.

 

“She likes you.”

 

“She likes me?”

 

I nod and grin over at him.  “Yeah, because you took care of me.  You know, that’s the only reason I’m coming with you tonight.”  He doesn’t say anything for a minute and then, “What?  You’re only going because I was nice to you?”  I quickly shake my head no.  Of course that’s not why.  God, I didn’t mean for it to come out _that_ way.  “No, my mom wouldn’t have let me go if she hadn’t known that you were the one who helped me.”  We ride together in silence for a few minutes and, I’ll admit, I’m nervous. I’ve never been to a club.  I’ve never done anything that has to do with…anything.  For god’s sakes, I’ve never even had a boyfriend.  I shift in my seat and begin twirling a strand of hair around my index finger.

 

“We’re almost there.”

 

“Who else is gonna be there?”

 

“A few of my friends.”

 

I roll my eyes and smile a small smile over at him.  “You’re so specific.”  He laughs slightly and I feel us stop and I assume that we’re there.  “My best friend, Michael, you know him.  Emmett and Ted.”  I don’t know any of Emmett and Ted, though, I’m sure I’ve probably heard them talking at the diner before.  When I hear Brian open up his door I know we’re there and I wait for him to come around and get my door.  I could have gotten it myself but I find myself not wanting to do anything without Brian being, like, **right there**.  This is unfamiliar territory to me.  I’ve never been here.  I can hear tons of people and I’m not going to risk getting run over or something.  My door opens and I quickly undo my seatbelt with fumbling fingers.

 

“Are you alright?”

 

I quickly nod to assure him.

 

“I’m fine.”

 

I feel his warm hand wrap around my wrist and he helps me out of the jeep and then he shuts the door.  I’m not usually a clingy person – usually I’m fine with walking around by myself.  Even when there are large crowds, like this one, but I cling tightly onto Brian’s arm with both my hands anyway.  Like I said, this is totally new to me.  I don’t know what kind of people are around here.  There could be guys like Chris for all I knew who’d just love to take advantage of the pretty blond boy.  And it would only get better for them when they realized that said pretty blond boy was blind.  Yeah, I wasn’t going to let that happen.  I was going to totally rely on Brian to keep me safe, which I know he will.

 

“Here we go, Sunshine.”

 

He starts walking and I match his steps, not putting one single space between us. Plus, people are kind of ramming into me as we walk so that just bangs me against him even _more_.  He doesn’t seem to mind either.  He rearranges ourselves as we walk so that his arm is wrapped around my shoulder and both of mine are around his waist instead of his arm like before.  I’ll admit, it’s more comfortable for the both of us but…I mean…should I allow this?  What the hell - - of course I’ll allow this.  Then he stops and a deep voice says hello to Brian like he’s an old friend. He probably is an old friend.  It’s the bouncer, Brian tells me and the man lets us inside and the pounding music that could be heard from the parking lot was even louder now.

 

The smell of drugs, alcohol, and sweat are intoxicating but Brian’s cologne seems to cover up all of that, for which I’m glad. His cologne definitely tops all of the other scents that I’m getting a whiff of.  I move my face closer to him, take a deep breath and hope to God that he doesn’t realize that I’m smelling him.  That’d be kind of embarrassing.  Smelling people isn’t something I usually do.  Brian steers me along, arm tightening around my shoulders as we pass around people and then we stop.  “We’re at the bar with Michael, Ted and Emmett.”

 

“Hey, sweetie!  I’m Emmett!”

 

Yeah, I’ve **definitely** heard his voice before.  I offer him a smile and hold out a hand, which he immediately takes and shakes.  Michael says hi next and I quickly smile and say the same thing back.  “And this is Teddy!”  I hear a kind, yet kind of dull, hello and I offer him a smile.  “Nice to meet you.”  Emmett bounds over next to me, I can hear him moving and then I feel him right next to me.  “So, what brings you here?”  I nod over towards Brian. “He invited me.”  

 

“Do you dance?”

 

I nod, small smile on my face.  “Sure.”  Yeah, I dance in my room. With Daphne.  I’ve never danced in front of tons of people though.  Emmett lets out a whoop and tells me that we must dance.  I hesitate – that meant actually going out there on the floor with all those people, right?  He notices my hesitation because, “Don’t worry; I won’t let any of those men get to you.”  I smile and pry myself out of Brian’s arms and let Emmett lead me out onto the packed floor.  I mean, there are bodies everywhere, moving against me as we shove through to a semi-empty part of the floor. I don’t know how any of this floor is able to be empty.

 

 

__________________________

 

**B.K**

Michael glares at me. 

 

“I can’t believe you brought him _here_.”

 

I try my hardest not to roll my eyes. It’s not hard enough.  “What? I thought you _liked_ him?”  Michael sighs, his eyes flying over to the dancing forms of Emmett and Justin.  Justin can dance and I’m slightly jealous that Emmett gets to be the first to dance with him. Lucky bastard.  But, soon enough, I’ll hopefully be out there doing the bump and grind with the blond.  I realize that I don’t need to feel too jealous seeing as Emmett and Justin aren’t doing anything close to grinding – they’re just having simple fun.  Michael looks back over at me, aggravated look on his face.

 

“I do like him.”

 

“Then what’s the problem? Blind kids get to have fun _too_.”

 

He rolls his eyes at me.

 

“Do you think this is safe?”

 

“He’s **safe with me**.”

 

What does he not understand?  No one messes with men that I’m with. Never. It’s like an unspoken rule between me and everyone else here in the club. Michael scoffs.  “Yeah, except that he’s with _Emmett_ right now and, by the looks of it, there are a few hungry eyes on your little blond right now.”  I look out onto the dance floor and, unfortunately, realize that Michael’s right.  There are.  I set my bottle of beer on the bar and push myself away from Michael and Ted and watch as the two men advance on Emmett and Justin.  God, the night has hardly even started and I’m already doing my ‘Save the blond’ thing.

 

“I’ll be right back.”

 

Putting on the hardest glare that I can muster up, I push roughly through the writing bodies not bothering to say sorry to the people that I’ve shoved.  I only concentrate on getting to where Justin and Emmett are standing along with two men who look rather adamant on taking Justin somewhere with them.  One of them even has Justin’s wrist in his hand.  No one grabs him except me – fucking fuckers.  Practically growling – his mom will kill me if anything happens to him – I finally make it over there and grab Justin’s arm and yank him back.  The man immediately lets go, glaring.

 

“Hands off, asshole.”

 

Emmett, to say the least, looks absolutely relieved.  I don’t blame him.  The guys _are_ huge.  Justin looks, obviously, even more relieved then Emmett, which is saying a lot.  “Fine, Kinney.”  The two men stalk off muttering a string of curse words as they do so and I look down at the blond who smiles up at me.  “You have a weird habit of “saving” people.”  I sigh, “Yeah, lucky for you. What’d he say to you?”  I glance over at Emmett who has long forgotten about the little encounter and has begun dancing around us again, keeping close by the whole time. Probably to eavesdrop.

 

“Nothing really - - except that he wanted to fuck my hot ass.”

 

Is he joking? I can’t tell. Then he grins.

 

“I’m kidding.”

 

“Fuck you – what’d he really say?”

 

“He asked me if I was interested in sucking his cock.”

 

“Seriously?”

 

Justin smiles again but nods. “Of course I’m serious.  And I said no, of course.”  I roll my eyes. Shouldn’t he be more shaken than this?  Maybe it’s because I’m here now. I take great pride in that. “Wanna dance with me now?  After all, you’re **my** date.”  He grins and nods.  “You admitted it.”

 

“Because no one would _believe_ you if you told.”

 

“You make a good point.”

 

I grab both his hands in mine and pull him away from Emmett’s hyperactive dancing form and bring him to the middle of the dance floor instead.  “So, are you gonna dance with me or not?”  He quickly nods his head, grin still on his face.  “I’d love to dance with you.”  I’d love to dance with him too.  I smile, hands slipping out of his and moving to wrap loosely around his waist and draw him closer towards my body, which he does eagerly. Probably to just get away from all the other bodies. He’s been awfully clingy since we got out of my jeep, which I entirely understand.  And I don’t mind it at all either.  His hands rest on the back of my neck, his eyes closed not that it matters anyway.

 

Our hips move together, probably my doing, but he doesn’t pull himself away.  He moves with me, bodies **highly** aware of each other. I slide my hands up from his waist to his wrists; his hands still on my neck and dare to rest my forehead against his.  I don’t know how much touching he’s going allow me to do. Especially since my cocks starting to become very aware of the grinding that’s going on between the two of us.  He doesn’t push back, lucky for me so I keep my forehead there.  I continue moving my body against his own lithe smaller one, getting harder and harder by the second – he’d be able to feel it by now.  Except I can, also, feel that I’m not the only one with the reacting dick.

 

My hands slide back down to his waist and I pull him tighter against my body, pray that he won’t pull away and he doesn’t.  Though, his forehead does pull back, eyes now open, and cheeks pink.  And, I swear, that it’s purely on accident when I “accidentally” lean towards him and “accidentally” press my mouth against his and “accidentally” slide my tongue into his gasping mouth.  It’s definitely all an accident.

 

 

__________________________

 

 

“They look so _hot_.”

 

Michael glares at Emmett who’s not trying to hide the fact that he’s watching the two men on the dance floor. Michael had been watching too and he hadn’t seen anything hot about it.  

 

“No they _aren’t_.”

 

Ted leans forward so he can get a better view of Michael from around Emmett’s leather clad form.

 

“Actually, they _are_ pretty hot.”

 

Rolling his eyes, Michael pays attention to his third bottle of beer and uses everything in him to not look out at the dance floor and over at his best friend and his best friends new adventure.


	8. 8 - Nervous

  
Author's notes: Yay - another chapter. Hope you like it.   


* * *

  


Darling it's ok  
If you don't want to play  
But why the hell did you come  
All this way  
 **Gettaway - Maxeen**

**__________________________**

**JT**.

Ok, I really hadn't expected him to **kiss** me.

I hadn't been prepared for it. I've _never_ been prepared for someone to kiss me. I thought this would be a date where Brian wouldn't kiss me. Where we would only dance and where he'd be nice to me but, honestly, the thought of him kissing me tonight hadn't really passed my mind. Ok, that's a lie 'cause as soon as his hands started touching me all gentle and slow and as soon as I felt him get hard against, to my embarassment, my own hardening cock, the thought of him kissing me definitely crossed my mind. A million times because...how can you be dancing with someone you like, like **this** and not think about him kissing you? I don't even think that that's possible. But, still, I'll admit that I was kind of shocked when he finally did kiss me. My first ever kiss - one that I'll definitely remember. 

I'm kind of too shocked to kiss him back at first. I mean, the feel of his mouth on mine alone is enough to put me into shock. He has soft lips. When my mouth finally does move against his his tongue takes advantage of it and slides into my mouth and crashes against my own. Not only does he have extremely soft lips - he tastes fucking good too, which is a definite, major plus. I'm not sure who does it but one of us stops dancing first and I have a feeling that it was me who stopped but it doesn't matter 'cause Brian doesn't seem to mind that we're not dancing anymore and, instead, standing just as close as we were when we were dancing, lips hotly molding together and everything in me probably turning into mush because I'm having a really hard time thinking right now.

With his hands cupping my face and his mouth moving furiously but, somehow, gently against mine it's makes it hard to think.

When Brian Kinney is kissing you - yeah, _everything's_ hard if you get my drift.

Then he pulls away and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed at the lack of contact. I realize, for the first time, that I'm gripping tightly onto the front of his shirt - probably to keep myself falling to the floor. It was intense - but I don't let go. I look up at him slighly confused as to why everything just had to end but I don't say anything. I don't want him to think I'm too eager.

"I'm sorry."

What the hell is he talking about?

"W-what? You are?"

"Well, no, not really."

I think I hear him laugh but I'm not sure. The music's really loud.

"I just...didn't mean to kiss you. _Ye_ t anyway."

I bet anything that I'm blushing. At least a little.

"O-oh."

"But, I guess you didn't mind?"

I smile slightly, shrug and choose not to answer him. Instead I wonder if we both look kind of stupid just standing here in the middle of the dancefloor while everyone else is dancing.

"Well?"

He pokes me and I squirm away from him except his hands are still latched onto me and I don't get very far. His arms wrap tight around my body and I can't really move but I don't exactly mind. He pokes me in the side again, with all his fingers this time, and I have to take it 'cause, like I said, I can't really move. He stops and when I stop laughing I tell him that I didn't mind it at all with my cheeks, for once, not turning a hundred degrees hotter. "Then, you wouldn't mind if I did it again?"

"I guess not."

"You guess?"

I grin, "No."

And he's kissing me again.

__________________________

Michael groaned and turned around so that his back was now facing the two males making out in the sea of dancing people. Emmett turned with him while Ted wandered away a little. Emmett grinned and Michael could see why. This was probably his dream - seeing Brian kiss the blond twink in front of everyone and actually look like he _liked_ the kid, which was impossible. Since when did Brian like people? He didn't like people. Especially ones that he was going to fuck. And, if Michael had to guess, Brian was very much interested in fucking Justin. Except, why the fuck would he like Justin. Michael looked over at Emmett with an exasperated sigh.

"It's just because he's blind."

Emmett raised an eyebrow.

"What are you talking about?"

"He's only acting like he likes Justin because the kid's blind."

Or, that's what he was telling himself at least. Emmett smirked like he knew something Michael wasn't aware of at all. Michael glared at him. "What are you smirking at?" Emmett just shrugged and looked over his shoulder and then back at the brooding Michael.

"He's not only blind. He's extremely good to look at _and_ has a nice ass. Plus, he's nice."

"Like Brian cares if he's nice or not."

"I sense some jealousy."

Michael groaned.

"What is there to be jealous about?"

**Everything**.

Emmett shrugged, small smile still on his face.

"Nothing, sweetie, nothing at all."

Micheal told himself that he agreed.

__________________________

**JT**.

When Brian pulled away after another literally breath taking kiss, I put a little distance between us.

Things, for me anyway, are moving way too quickly.

"Are you alright?"

I quickly nod. I'm more than alright - I'm just totally inexperienced. And maybe even nervous. "I'm fine. Can you take me home?" Brian doesn't say anything for a minute and I think that maybe he didn't hear me and I'm about to ask him again except he finally speaks.

"We just got here."

"I-I know but...I don't really feel well..."

I feel his hand wrap around mine and then we're walking and I'm guessing he's leading me off the crowded dance floor and out of the club. When we stop I listen as he tells Michael, Emmett and Ted that he's taking me home. "Bye, sweetie! See ya soon!" Michael mutters a bye but he doesn't sound very happy in the process. Then I'm walking again and I wonder if Brian's kind of mad since he's walking kind of fast and he hasn't said anything to me yet. I decided to keep my mouth shut except to ask him to slow down because there are a lot of people and I'm kind of running into them harder than I would have liked. He says sorry and he immediatly slows down. He hadn't sounded very mad but, who knows. I sure don't and usually I can tell.

I stop him by grabbing his arm when he opens the jeep door for me.

"Are you mad at me?"

Shit - I sound more whiny than I had wanted to.

"No, Sunshine, I'm not mad."

That's that 'cause I hear him walk away and I slide into the jeep feeling slightly put out. It's not my fault that I'm nervous. That I'm inexperienced. That I have no idea how to handle physical action. I hear his door open and then shut and then the jeep begins to move and the ride to my house is silent. He must be mad. Why else wouldn't he be talking to me? I shift in my seat, slide down a little to make myself shorter and, maybe, less noticable.

_Shitshitshitshit_.

I probably blew it. I probably blew it big time. 

What if he never talks to me again?

"We're here."

I only nod, don't look over in his direction, undo my seatbelt and open the car door. I pause, maybe to see if he'll say something to reassure me that he isn't mad and that he's just not in a talkative mood. He doesn't say anything so I get out and shut the door behind me. I was hoping that he might walk me to the front door at least but that's obviously not going to happen.

"Hey,"

He speaks. Swallowing, I turn around.

"You working tomorrow?"

I slowly nod, feeling realived that he's probably not mad at me after all.

Without saying anything in reply to my nod he drives off.


End file.
